For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize