I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
