Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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