How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
