Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
