and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize
