he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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