im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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