So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
