Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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