Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
