So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
