If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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