well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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