I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
