I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We got so high we made milksteak
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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