a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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