What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
