Joe is yelling at the trees again.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
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