My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
