this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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