Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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