I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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