areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize