Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Welp...herpes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
