I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
