I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
