real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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