You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
