idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
