sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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