420 ftw
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize