just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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