I want to stick my p in your. b.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
