I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
please don't ironically join a cult
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