Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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