last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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