i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
