i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
