I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
