Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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