i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
