Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
