either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I want to be your penis for a week.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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