Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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