none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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