The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
