I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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