I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
