Im at strip club and am horny
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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