uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
