the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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