STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
