You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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