If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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