We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
