Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
