Are we in a gay sports bar?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
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I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
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Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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