Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
