New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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