Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
